Railways

Whenever a train in India is delayed , one thing that you can be sure of hearing is people comparing the Indian rail with the networks in the west and saying that we have to learn a few lessons from them as to how to operate. My experience with UK network rail just proved it wrong.

I had to travel from London to Manchester last Sunday and i had reserved a ticket by the 17:05 Virgin trains. Reached London Euston station at 16:00 and found it jam packed. When i saw the train departure board, it showed that most of the trains were cancelled. There was an announcement that there was a technical fault with the line side equipment outside London so National rail has permitted only 4 -5 train per hour. Due to this constraint, Virgin trains operated just one train to Manchester every hour instead of the usual 3 trains per hour. The problem started at half past 12 in the noon and they had operated just one train at 15:30 after 12:30 so you can imagine the crowd waiting for the next train.

At 17:30 there was an announcement that the next train to Manchester was ready for boarding. As soon as the platform number was announced, there was an exodus towards the platform. It looked like a scene out of the Mumbai metro station - all you had to do was stand and the crowd ensured that you reached the train. The train was jam packed and most of us stood through the entire journey which was 3.5 hours instead of the usual 2 hours (due to track problem, more stops than usual)

Now how many times has this happened with Indian railways?

My driving lessons

Just finished my second driving class and the instructor has reached the conclusion that i am a trained assassin sent to kill him.

We tried meeting traffic for the first time today and after 10 minutes he took me to a silent estate where there was absolutely no traffic!!!

The flight that was jinxed!!!

I flew via Paris from Bangalore to Manchester. The flight from Bangalore landed in Paris at 08:30 and it took an hour to finish the transfer and security process at Charles de Gaulle airport. The flight to Manchester was scheduled to leave at 13:15 CET.

At 12:30, there was an announcement that the flight was postponed to 14:00 hrs as the incoming flight from Madrid was delayed due to some brake problems. At 13:30, there was one more announcement that the flight would be taking off at 14:30 instead of 14:00. I had started the journey 16 hours before and i was really looking forward to reach my home at Manchester. Boarding commenced at 14:00 and was completed by 14:20. At 14:30, there was an announcement from the cockpit that one passenger was stuck at the security and was not able to make it to the flight but his luggage was already loaded onto the flight. We waited in the flight for another 30 mins to get the luggage out.

Finally at 15:00, the flight left the parking bay. We were all so relieved to take off after sitting in the flight for an hour. The plane reached the runway but instead of taking off, the pilot announced that we would be returning to the bay as the autopilot was not working. When we heard this, We gave up and most of them began to doze off, leaving it to fate to get us to Manchester. After an hour of repair, the flight finally took off from Paris at 16:00. I started saying my prayers for the flight to land safely in Manchester.

Finally we landed in manchester after an hour and we were all so relieved. But luck still had some more plans for us under its sleeve. We cleared immigration and we came to the baggage carousel and we found that it was empty. After waiting for 15 minutes, there was an announcement that there was some technical problem with the flight's luggage compartment. We got our luggage after an hours wait and finally i reached home - 5 hours later than my expected arrival time

The MAN in the apartment!!!

Six months back when i moved into this city, i had just two days to search for an apartment. After spending about three hours on the Internet and an hour more on the phone with real estate agents, i finally narrowed down the search to three apartments. Day 1 - visited all the three apartments...i would not call them apartments. The first one i walked into was like a paper shed, the second one , had to ask Columbus to find the way to the front door and the third one had walls, door, windows and a roof - i would have had to get everything else. End of day - nothing. In the evening, found another apartment - visited the place first thing next morning and it was heaven compared to the apartments i had visited the previous day - i just had to get my suitcase and move in. This place was one of the six flats in a house. Paid the advance immediately but it took a week for the real estate agents to sort out the credit check and other stuff.

The owners were an elderly couple and they were really helpful. When i first met them, they told me that there was another Indian staying in the house. I was new to the town and i was really looking forward to make some new friends. I was waiting for the weekend to go and meet him and then the next step would be to explore the city with the new found friend.

The next weekend, i went to his apartment and the first thing that came to my mind was an episode from friends where Ross dates a girl and the girls apartment is such a mess that he does not even want to sit down...I was in a similar position (thankfully it was not my Girlfriend) but did not want to be rude on the first visit so somehow managed to sit in a tiny spot cleared up by him. The table in front of me had plates which he had used for his previous few day's lunch/dinners. Next to it was an ashtray which was overflowing with cigarette butts. I am sure that he has not opened the windows from the day he had moved in - i was having a real tough time breathing. Somehow survived day one at the concentration camp and managed to walk out after half an hour.

Found out a couple of other interesting facts about him - he wakes up at 7:20 and still manages to catch the 7:40 bus.I wake up at half past six and i sometimes have to rush to catch the same bus - Guess i have to take some special class from him on time management. After a week of travelling with him, i started going by the 7:30 bus. He survives on Ready to Eat items but sometimes he does cook rice and most of the times, when he cooks, everyone in the house gets to know about it - he sets off the fire alarm!!! His day to day schedule varies a lot - he might be sleeping at 7 PM and he might start cooking at 2 AM in the morning.

Asked him about the closest laundrette and he had absolutely no clue about it (he has been in this apartment for the last two years). i asked him as to how he manages his laundry and his reply stopped by breath for a few minutes (that's when i decided to change my bus timing). He has six pairs of clothes - he wears the same pair for 3 weeks a a stretch.He visits India once every six months and that's when he washes his clothes. I know the question that you have in your mind - the inner wears - do not even dare think about it!!!

He does not have a valid UK driving license yet he drives a bike - hold on - i have not completed. He has had two accidents and he has spent a fortune repairing the bike..Am still wondering as to how he managed to escape from the police after the accident.

I am still wondering as to how he survives!!!

PS : PP, finally i decided to put the blog in. FYI, i got to know abt his 2 AM cooking as he set the fire alarm on ;)

Hair cut

I wanted to have a haircut on saturday. Since i had some other work lined up for that day, I went pretty early ( 9 ish). My usual barbershop was closed so I walked a little further and found another barber shop.


Walked in - there was only one lady in there and she was sitting and straightening her hair. She was the barber and she said that she did not have any customer till then and was bored. She started cutting my hair and she continued cutting for 45 mins till the next customer came in. At the end of it she was very much satisfied with her word - " You look neat and tidy now" was her words when she finished - am not sure if i looked like a cave man when i walked in


The end result - my hair is so short that i can see my scalp - she could have very well tonsured my head :(

Missed payment

I had a vodafone corporate connection in India for 18 months. When i moved to UK, i completely forgot about the connection. But the legal department in Vodafone did not forget me :(

The first missed call came yesterday at 7 AM when i was getting ready to work. Very few people in India know my UK contact number so i thought that it must be one of my friends ringing me to let me know their new number or something. I was busy getting ready to work so i thought of giving a call once i reach office. After 10 minutes, i get a sms stating "Karthik, call me back" - no name mentioned. I call back this number and a guy picks up the call and says my full name. He then introduces himself as a guy from Vodafone legal department. He says that i have an outstanding bill of something more than a grand and i was supposed to pay it by 4 PM (3 hours notice period) else my name would be handed over to the police. I told him calmly that i am in UK and i cannot make a payment by 4. He then asks me for my credit card details so that he can take the payment. I refused to give him my credit card details and said that i will make the payment. Then i asked him how he got my number and he said that he had got it from my parents.

This gentleman had called up my parents saying that he is a friend of mine who had worked with me in my previous company and that he needed my number urgently. I made the payment through internet transfer on the same day

Today, The hutch guy gave me a number of missed calls between 4 AM and 6 AM . He then calls my parents and threatens them with police action. I called him back once i reached office and explained to him that i have made the payment and that he will get it either today or tomorrow. When i questioned him about his behaviour, he just cut the call.

When i am at fault for defaulting the payment , the way the so called legal department guy behaved was utterly ridiculous

1) He claims that he had sent two legal notices to my mailid which is not active. He would have got back a message stating that the id is not active. He has my parent's address, why couldn't he post the bill to them??? He was able to call them and get my number - why could not he have done this???

2) What was the need to lie to my parents about being my friend. If he is calling from the legal department he has all the rights to tell them the truth and demand the money? Why follow a third rate approach?

3) The guy works for vodafone - a leading mobile service provider and he gives missed calls from his number !!!

4) What was the need to threaten me with legal action the first time that he is speaking to me?

5) When he very well knows that i am in UK, why does he give me missed calls at 4, 5 and 6 AM?

I had mailed across a complaint to vodafone about this...lets see what happens.

Slumdig Millionaire - positive sides!!!

Was talking to a friend who said that the movie does infact have some positive things . According to her, the movie depicts a bulk of population in India but it also shows how these people still manage to live happily amidst all this. In addition, it also shows that some people do not give up and fight for the thing that they want - that includes the hero, the blind beggar...the girl and the kids - they all fight to survive!!!

She has got a point there.

Slumdog millionaire - outrageous!!!

Slumdog millionaire - a movie that has been on the winning spree in almost all award functions lately held and might bag the Oscar's too.. Saw this movie last night and at the end of the movie, i tried to summarize how Danny Boyle has portrayed India in this movie. Things that i could remember

1. Poverty in the slums
2. Communal violence
3. Indian men kidnapping kids, making them blind and then making them beg in the streets
4. Child labour
5. Indian kids stealing from the tourist in Taj mahal and posing as tourist guide.
6. A guy stealing his brother's lady love from him
7. Prostitution
8. Kids who can kill
9. Young guys becoming rowdy and wielding guns
10. Indian police torturing the innocent
11. A corrupt showhost
12. Typical call center joke where a chai wala handles a US customer call

The real heights of the movie was the scene where the kids steal all the parts from the car and the kid says "You wanted to see real India - this is real India" and the US tourist says " we will show you real US" and hands a 100$ bill to the kid

Has Danny boyle shown anything good about India in this movie. Nothing that i can remember!!!

Slumdog Millionaire is a typical white man's view of India where they can see nothing good about India. I am not even 1% happy about this film winning all these awards and my heartfelt sympathy to Danny boyle and others who cannot see the real India .

Naan Kadaval

Naan kadaval - A good tamil movie after a long time. A different story line - hats off to Bala for taking a topic about beggars and portraying it so well. He has done his homework well and his cast includes people with physical and mental disabilities that you usually see outside temples or other common places. Arya and Pooja have done a brilliant job. Illayaraja has done his usual magic throughout the movie.

Naan Kadaval is not a commercial movie, not a movie with the usual masala, not a story about lovers or revenge - is a story about the people whom we see almost every day and about whom we do not give a second thought.

I felt the end could have been different but all said and done your heart really feels a bit heavy at the end of the movie. If you are looking for a movie which is different from the usual movies then Naan kadaval is a must see!!!

Numerology & astrology

A couple of months back when i was in India, i was surfing through some TV channels one morning and came across a program on numerology. People were telling their problems in life to the numerologist who inturn assigns a number to each alphabet in the name, then sums up the digits to reach a single digit and finally compares it against the date of birth and voila - he finds out the reason why the person has so much trouble in life. Then he suggested a change in name by adding an extra alphabet or an extra initial in some cases!!!. I have a question here - names like Karthik, naresh or vinay are 100% pure Indian names but then you calculate the weightage for these names using english alphabets - how is this possible? How did our ancestors survive with their name before the Brits came to India?

One more thing that the numerologist asked the person was to write the name X times (Something like 103 times) every day morning for y number of days - The numerologist forgot to say whether it should be before breakfast or after breakfast!!! How in hell will this help? The person is still the same, he is going to be called with the same name but writing his name down with an extra alphabet is going to erase all his problems in life...

Another scam is the lucky stones one...all the stones that were supposed to be used jus for ornamental purpose have become lucky stones!!! Nowadays you see some people with lucky stones on all 20 fingers.

Astrologers are supposed to predict your future using the position of planets. A Pythagoras' theorem can be approached in n number of ways but the end result is always the same. I expect the same with astrology - who ever is the astrologer you should get the same results but you do not. Nowadays you go to an astrologer and you find n number of troubles awaiting you and all this can be nullified by doing some pujas.

I am not sure if all the above methods solved any problem but they have helped the numerologist and the astrologers to become rich